Veterinarian’s office sign – All unattended children will be given a free kitten –
Lot outside Vet’s office – Parking for customers only, others will be neutered.
In a Veterinarians waiting room – Be back in 5 minutes, SIT! STAY!
Plumber’s Shop – We repair what your husband fixed.
Pizza shop slogan – 7 days without pizza makes one weak.
At a tire shop in Milwaukee – Invite us to your next blowout.
Door of a plastic surgeons office – Hello, we can help pick your nose?
Sign at the psychic’s Hotline – Don’t call us, we’ll call you.
At a towing company – We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.
Billboard on the side of the road – Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.
On an electricians truck – Let us remove your shorts.
In a nonsmoking area – If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
On maternity room door – Push, Push, Push.
At an Opthomologist’s Office – If you don’t see what your looking for you’ve come to the right place.
On a taxidermist’s window – We really know our stuff.
In a podiatrist’s office – Time wounds all heels.
On a fence – Salesmen welcome, dog food is expensive.
Outside a muffler shop – No appointment necessary, we’ll hear you coming.
Inside a bowling alley – Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop.
In the front yard of a funeral home – Drive carefully, we’ll wait.
In a counselor’s office – Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.