Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a streaker ran past.
One old lady had a stroke.
The other one couldn’t reach.
What do you call a woodpecker that has lost his beak?
Did you here about the Irishman who came bounding into his local shouting to his pal,”I got twins, i got twins”
His Irish mate looks at him bewildered and says,”do you know who the other father is?”
What’s the difference between an airfix model and Gordon Brown ?
One of them is a glueless kit
What does DNA stand for ?
The National Dyslexia Association
An old man who was hard of hearing had been feeling unwell, so his dutiful wife took him along to his GP.
Doctor: “I’ll need a stool sample and a urine sample”
Old Man: “Pardon??”
Wife: “Just give him your pants dear…”
A bride on her wedding night says to her husband ‘I must confess darling, I was a hooker!’.
He says ‘That’s all right, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it’.
She replies ‘Well, my name was Nigel, and I played for Wigan