Category Archives: Technology

Funny Software Programs

class Indian_Bachelor_female_professional
{
double styles;
short skirts;
long time_to_understand_problems;
float mind;
void knowledge();
char non_co_operative;
};

class Married_female_Software _Professional
{
double weight;
short tempered;
long gossips;
float hopes;
void work();
char unstable;
};

class Female_Engaged_software _professional
{
double time_on_phone;
short attention_on_work;
long boast;
float on_cloud_nine;
void understanding();
char edgy;
};

class Indian_Newly_Married_software _professional
{
double dinner_invitations;
short time_at_work;
long lunch_breaks;
float talks;
void bank_balance();
char hen_pecked;
};

class Indian_husband_wife_software _professional
{
double income;
short temper;
long time_no_see;
float new_software_company;
void love();
};

Class Guy_who_wrote_this
{
Long time_on_bench;
Void Nowork();
}

Technology | Leave a comment | 422 views

Meeting

A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside.

The car’s occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do?

“I know,” said the Branch Manager, “Let’s have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way.

“No, no,” said the Hardware Engineer, “That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I ‘ve got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car’s braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way.

“Well,” said the Software Engineer, “Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again”.

Technology | Leave a comment | 717 views

The Retired Engineer

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.

Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail.

In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small “x” in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, “This is where your problem is”.

The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.

The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1, Knowing where to put it $49,999

It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.

Technology | Leave a comment | 319 views

Software Engineers

At a recent software engineering course, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. “If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?”
Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay on board.
“With my team’s software”, he said, “the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off”.

Technology | Leave a comment | 760 views

C++ Programmers

How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
“You’re still thinking procedurally! A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class!”.

Technology | Leave a comment | 780 views

iPhone4 vs HTC Evo

Technology, Videos | Leave a comment | 493 views

Microsoft Support

Q: How many Microsoft support staff does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to ask “What is the registration number of the light bulb?”, one to ask “Have you tried rebooting it?”, another to ask “Have you tried reinstalling it?” and the last one to say “It must be your hardware because the light bulb in our office works fine…”

Technology | Leave a comment | 837 views

Proceed or delete

Picture Humour, Technology | Leave a comment | 733 views

Internet

Teacher: If you spend all your time sitting round playing on the Internet, you’ll be fat and useless when you grow up.
Pupil: Wow! You must have spent hours surfing when you were a kid!

Quickies, Technology | Leave a comment | 581 views

Programmers

Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, that’s a hardware problem.

Technology | Leave a comment | 341 views
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