Category Archives: Blondes
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde lesbian?
A: Well, she kept having affairs with men.
Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, “Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn’t bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. “By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I’m gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand”.
“So,” says the second drunk, “what’s your point?”
“Well,” says the first, “I’m just wondering how much stronger I’m gonna get!”
Q: What would a blonde use for protection during sex?
A: A bus shelter.
A blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who hit the ground first?”
The brunette, cos the blonde stopped to asked for directions!!!”
Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
A: They’ve both swallowed a lot of seamen.
Q: What’s a blonde’s idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had 2 chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times.
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for a bottom deodorant. “Sorry, we don’t sell bottom deodorant” the pharmacist replies, struggling to keep from laughing.
“But I always buy it here”, the blonde says. “I bought one last month”. Thinking quickly, the pharmacist suggests, ” I don’t know what you bought before, may be you can bring in the empty container next time”.
“Sure”, the blonde replies “I’ll bring it with me tomorrow”.
The next day, the blonde walks into the shop again and hands the pharmacist an almost empty deodorant stick.
“This is just a normal deodorant”, the pharmacist tells the blonde, “You use it under your arms”.
“No, it is not”, the blonde answers, “it says so here: To apply, push up bottom”.
A blonde, brunette and a redhead run to the top of a burning building. Below, a few fire-fighters are holding a blanket telling the redhead to jump.
When the redhead jumps the fire-fighters snatch the blanket away and she hits the concrete.
When the fire-fighters ask the brunette to jump she jumps and again they pull the blanket away.
When the fire-fighters ask the blonde to jump she replies, “I don’t trust you, so just put the blanket down and back away”.